acts.1.eight

to be honest.  i think about leaving all the time.  i think about pushing back from my chair.  grabbing a few necessary items and heading out the door.  never look back.

they would grow to love my disappearing act.

i used to be idealistic.  i used to have a passion.  all the damage done.  all the pain.  all this heartache.  it would never be my story.  i used to be concerned that my personal life would affect my job.  and now the oposite is true.

i knew a man once.  not just a male.  a true man.  i admired him because he was not about his job.  he was bigger than that.  a husband.  a father.  a friend.  a mentor.  i told myself that i wanted to be just that.  more than a job.

not john the teacher.

not john the pastor.

not john the janitor.

john the man.  john the husband.  john the father.  john the friend.  john the mentor.  and by the way did you know that john has a job too?

life would not be something done when the first forty hours a week had been banked.  no.  work would be something i would do when the 128 hours of life had been lived.  live first.  work second.  my life would not be defined by my job.

a strange thing happened.  i started to see myself as the job.   not as a person.  just an employee who punched the clock and went down into the mine to dig and scrape for a piece of gold that would be quickly ushered up the ladder and into the pocket of someone else.  they get rich and they get the credit.  and when that vein of precious materials started to dry up, i was the one that carried the burden home.  it was the screws in my back that were turned tight.  and any nugget we pulled up from the bottom continued it’s path up the ladder.

and then another thing happened.  i loosened my tie.  and i got on my bike and went to an old familiar place with an old familiar friend.  and we talked.  we did not numb our daily stress with chemical.  we did not waste our money on a temporary fix.  in fact.  not even coffee crossed our lips.  just words.  words of frustration that were amazingly laced with hope.  work went away and life happened again.  all punctuated with a long overdue hug.  and a friendly smile and hello.  and news of future plans.

then i pushed my chair back.  grabbed my necessary items and i headed out the door.  i looked ahead.  and thought about staying for awhile.

i think i’ll grow to love this reappearing act.

last night after i had crawled into bed, i started to think.  which is something i often do before i fall asleep.  i started to think about places.  places that i hear people talk about alot.  and i started to wonder if those places really exist.

like portland.

i have never been to portland.  i am not sure i would even want to go to portland.  as far as i know, it is not even a real place.  there is no connection.  people i know have gone there, moved there, lived there.  but they just leave and come back.  sometimes the coming back is just for a visit.  but they come back.  almost as though portland is like the bathroom.  a place where people go for awhile.  and then they return later.

but i feel like that’s true of all people that leave.  to places like illinois.  or bismarck.  or seattle.

to some extent it’s as though they are not even gone.  because they most often come back.  and my life does not stop.  or even change much while they are away.

in fact. it is possible for people who are still in fargo to go to these places that don’t exist.  and by that i mean i may go extended periods of time with out seeing them or talking to them.  like they just temporarily cease.  the connection is lost.  and then they come back.

really.  does anything exist outside my own perception?

the closer the connection i have.  the less likely it is they cease.  because the people that are close will be more likely to appear in my mind.  to come back in my thoughts and dreams.   but there are always those that go away for a bit.  they cease for a moment.  and then they come back in the form of an unexpected phone call.  or a message.  or a chance meeting.  they appear.

the places they come from.  the places they go.  they do not exist.  at least not for me.  they are outside my frame of reference.  there is no connection.  my view becomes narrow and i only understand what i see or what i already know.  and the places i have never seen.  do not exist.

like portland.

i have two great friends that live here in fargo.  both of them made major purchases at best buy this week.  to be quite honest, seeing these purchases caused me to feel a bit left out.  so i decided to go to best buy and check out the deals and see what i could afford.  turns out they have a great deal on larger purchases that qualifies you for 2 years of no interest payments.  the items that i was looking at would have cost me about an extra 50-60 dollars a month, which is probably do-able for me.  however, this is not a post about me buying something major at best buy.  instead, this is a post about how i will never make a purchase at a best buy store ever again.  here’s why….

one of my friends while making his purchase, was jerked around quite a bit while trying to secure the financing agreement that he needed.  the sales people that helped him were never able to get their information quite right, or keep their stories straight.  while certainly frustrating, at a big box store like best buy, i’m sure it’s difficult to get the details on everything straight all the time.  especially considering how often things change.  ultimately, a plan was figured out for him to be able to get what he wanted, and in fact, buyin a particular brand of product was going to give him 3 years of no interest instead of just 2.

now, we could get into a big discussion about whether or not this was a sound financial decision or not.  but again, that is not the purpose of this discussion.

the day my friend made his purchased, he was reassured by multiple employees that he was getting 3 years no interest.  according to them, all of that brand’s items in that category fell under the 3 year agreement.   the too good to be true deal was there and my friend decided to go ahead and make the purchase.

in the mean time, i visited the best buy store again on my lunch break and browsed a bit more.  i met with an associate that helped me find out how the financing would work for me.  i was pleased with what i heard, but also hesitant.  i’ve never really been good at making major purchases (give me a bunch of minor purchases and i’m good to go though…) and i didn’t want to rush into anything.  i also wanted to make sure that i did not make a purchase just to keep up with the j’s.  so this friend of mine and i agree to make another trip to the store together this time, to talk it through and look a bit more.

we arrive at the store and he shows me what he bought and he shows me the place where it talks about 3 years instead of 2.  i notice that it seems to have a least one stipulation that would not include the item he purchased, thus, he would be under the 2 year agreement instead of the 3.  he assured me that he had been told over and again that he had been told by multiple sales people that he was in the 3 year agreement.  wanting to be sure of what the story is, we approach a sales person.  i say to him, “i see you have a 3 year deal on this brand, does that apply to all or just some?”  and he says, “yes, that’s all of that brand.”

not willing to rest on that, i dig further.  he assures us again that it is all and that the purchase my friend made should be as he assumed.  for my sake though, i pressed him to check further.  he makes a couple of calls and then a manager comes over to check out the situation.  we explain what we are wondering and what we have been told and he tells us that we are wrong and that my friends purchase was under the 2 year financing.

now we are getting hot at this point.  the sales person we have been chatting with joins the conversation and i mention that not even 10 minutes earlier, he had told us all items of that brand would qualify for 3 years.  slimy sales person back peddles at this point and says, “i meant that in the past it has been all items of that brand.”  and long greasy haired manager guy sides with him.  my friend and i let him know that we don’t appreciate the fact that he is believing his lying sales person over us.  my friend confirms the details for what must be done in order to return the items he previously purchased and we let him know that we will no longer be shopping at best buy.

to top it off, later phone calls to the fargo store in attempt to get in touch with a manager were not answered and a phone call to the best buy corporate office was met with the same reaction.  “if our sales person tells us he told you the truth, we believe he told the truth.”

congratulations best buy.  you just sent two customers (with loud mouths when they are unhappy) out the door unsatisfied with your service.  i would encourage everyone who reads this to follow these two pieces of advice when considering shopping at best buy:

1. don’t.
2. if you do, don’t believe the sales people.  they don’t know the right answers.  press further and make sure you know what you are getting before you buy.

feel free to tell all your friends.