acts.1.eight

i wanted to write a quick follow up to my previous post…

first of all, thanks for the feedback i’ve gotten so far. don’t ever hesitate to comment on a post or email me about a post. it’s nice to know that people are reading. agree or disagree, i’d love to hear what you have to say.

secondly, while ceasing to sin may not be the ticket to heaven or the key to a successful relationship with Jesus, that does not mean we should be carefree (or careless) in how we live. like i mentioned about myself, there are things in my life that i have felt conviction over and that i believe with the help of the Holy Spirit will change. in the mean time, i am not going to carelessly practice those things just because of grace. we should still strive to do our best not to sin, but we should not see avoidance of sin as the key to salvation. here’s a couple of scriptures:

romans 6:1-3 – “what shall we say, then? shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? by no means! we died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?
philipians 4:8 - “finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

i do not want to live in sin anymore. and so i am going to strive, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to think differently and act differently, to live differently.

patent pending
i have been intending to write some thoughts on velvet elvis by rob bell but whenever i have tried i just cannot seem to say what it is i would like to about it. i am not great at book reviews. i did enjoy the book and think that it is worth the read. check out david t’s thoughts on it as well.

in episode two of the series “one punk under God,” the controversial topic of homosexuality comes up. obviously, it is a hot topic in our world and there always seems to be a lot of pressure placed on christians to have a response to the homosexuality issue. i have been faced with a variety of questions… do i think it is a sin? do i think all homosexuals are going to hell? should someone who is openly homosexual be allowed to hold any positions of leadership in a church? what if they are not a practicing homosexual? should homosexuals be allowed to marry? should homosexuals be allowed to adopt?…. i think the examples could go on forever. anyhow, when i realized that this would be the major focus of this episode, and apparently the theme exists strongly in subsequent episodes, i was interested to see what would be said and how some of the above questions are answered. jay bakker attends an openly gay chuch and speaks to the people there. he also has conversations with some of the people including two trans-gendered women. he then explores the scriptures and does some research on church traditions and history… his conclusion: homosexuality is not a sin. he speaks to his church about it… he talks of the church taking a “we’ll love you, but…” mentality. he is concerned that his church, which is composed mostly of people that did not feel accepted at other churches, is creating the same type of atmosphere that other churches created towards them. you are welcome here only if you change first. he is concerned that the church has closed the door to a people group that is seeking their place within the religious community, but has encountered nothing but closed doors along the way. one of his conclusions: don’t you believe in the Holy Spirit’s ability to convict someone of the things that are not right in their life? don’t you believe in His ability to help that person change.

how do i feel about his stance? i agree with probably 90% of the things that he said. the one aspect that i couldn’t get over was his decision that homosexuality is not a sin. honestly, as i sit and write this, i’m still grappling with it. whether it be a sin or not, i think this is what i am concluding. all people are sinners. and ultimately, what i believe will land people in hell is their unrepentant heart. see here’s the deal, Jesus paid the price for all sins. even the sins of those who do not accept them. all of the punishment owed to sinners has already been covered. so it’s no longer our sins that send us to hell. it is when we chose not to accept Jesus payment on our behalf that we resume the responsibility for that debt. so it is not homosexuality (or fornication, or murder, or lying, or greed, etc.) that will land someone in hell, it is an unrepentant heart.

let’s take me for example. i struggle with a variety of things that can be/are considered sinful. for the sake of argument i’m going to narrow it down to just my struggles with sexual sin. if i were to stop committing those sins (goodbye fornication, goodbye pornography, etc.), would i then have earned myself a trip to heaven? let’s say i’m able to take it beyond just the external manifestations of my sin. if i am able to stop lusting for women, if i am able to clear my heart and mind of the desires of my flesh for the flesh of a woman, have i now managed to earn a place in the kingdom? well what does scripture say?

galatians 2:20 – “i do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”
philipians 3:8-9 - “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.”
isaiah 64:6 “all of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”

my take on it is this: if i can earn a trip to heaven by not sinning, then Christ died for nothing. my righteousness comes from my faith in Jesus not in my ability to follow the law. when i do follow the law, my righteous acts are seen as filthy rags… sounds to me like ceasing to lust, ceasing to fornicate, ceasing to use pornography… these things will not save me. my faith in Jesus, my belief in Him, my love for Him, His death on the cross; He will save me. i agree with jay’s idea that whatever we consider sin can be convicted by the Holy Spirit and the ability to change that about ourselves can and will come from Him. if we shut people out from our faith community due to something in their lifestyle that we consider sinful, do we prevent them from having an encounter with the Holy Spirit? do we block them from experiencing the very person that can convict them and help them change? if i did not have an ongoing relationship with the Holy Spirit i would likely see no reason to stop using pornography or to stop lusting for women. i would probably continue to live as a fornicator (man, that word just sounds bad doesn’t it?).

i guess at this point in my life i don’t really care what brand of sin a person carries around with them. i just care that they have an encounter with Jesus. i just care that they experience the Spirit of God and have the opportunity to see areas of sin in their life and to see those areas of sin changed. i know if i had to try and change before i was welcomed into a faith community, i would never make it.

romans 8:1-2 – “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”

amen.

i purchased and downloaded 6 episodes of the tv show “one punk under God” last night. it is a show about jay bakker, son of infamous televangelists jim and tammy faye bakker. they were one of a handful of prominent television ministries that endured controversy back in the day for scandals that included adultery and fraud. jim bakker spent time in prison for fraud as well as lost his marriage and ministry because of an affair.

i first encountered jay bakker in his book son of a preacher man. i was impressed with his insights into his family, as well as the fact that he came out serving God in the end. i think going through similar trials would destroy the faith of a lot of people. instead, he started a church called revolution. there are now three revolution churches. jay is the pastor of the new york city church.

i watched the first episode of the show this morning. it showed him returning to the site of heritage, usa, which was essentially the christian disney world. the place is a dump now and much has been torn down. but he walked around and talked about where things were and where he would hang out. it had to have been a painful experience to revisit this place that was once so thriving, that your parents built, and now it’s in ruins. sort of like going to the house you grew up in and finding it run down and condemned. i just cannot imagine my childhood home being a theme park though.

i think the most interesting portion of the show was when he talked about his dad. they don’t have much of a relationship and he allueded to the idea that they hadn’t talked for at least a year and maybe as long as two years. you can tell that he still desires to be a part of his fathers life. they show him calling him multiple times. at one point he is preaching at a church in wisconsin and he talks about how he used to dream that he and his father would work together, preaching and changing the world. but his father has a new family, a new wife, five adopted children, and a new television show. i was intrigued by this, obviously, because of the things i’ve been questioning in regards to my relationship with my own father. and additionally because of the thoughts i’ve had on forgiveness in general. i can’t be the judge of whether or not there is unforgiveness between jay and his father. but i could empathize with what he was saying. he talked about not putting your faith in men and remembering that we have a Father. even when we don’t have a dad.

i am looking forward to seeing the next five episodes. revolution church has always intrigued me and i love their merch (i have one of their hoodies and some stickers). i want to learn more about them and how they go about things.

my minds aflame
i feel terrible tonight. i have a terrible headache. part of me thinks i just need to eat something. or it may be that i have had no caffeine today. either way. my head hurts.

some follow up to my previous post… i’ve gotten some good quality feedback which i appreciate. there is one passage that i came across that really stood out to me. here it is:

genesis 5015-21; 15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept.

18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said.

19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

here is what stood out to me so much about this… when joseph tells his brothers that God intended their harm for good, for “the saving of many lives.” seriously. not only is joseph forgiving them, in a sense he’s telling them that they were carrying out God’s will for the situation. so, because they did what had to be done for the end result to happen, he not only lets them off the hook, but he says he will provide for them and their children. unreal. so what does this mean for me? good question. i don’t know.

what i am figuring out is that forgiveness can be so radical. if i am to forgive like joseph, or better yet, like Jesus has forgiven me… you could really blow people out of the water by forgiving them. again, take my dad for example. i think the natural thing to do would be to say, “ok, i’ll forgive him. but i’m not going to let him back in my life.” or “i’ll forgive him, but i’m not restoring him to fatherhood in my life.” but what if i did. what if i let him be my father again? assuming he would want to be, of course. seriously, i am not even sure i can wrap my mind around that. it makes no sense. but how can i expect anyone to forgive me and restore me to anything if i am not willing to restore those that have hurt me? this is a strange deal and it is something i am wrestling with a great deal, as you have probably realized. more thoughts and insights are always appreciated.

in place of hope
i met with pastor kevin today and i’m very excited about things that are coming up for our church. we will be announcing the start of a men’s group in february. i can’t wait. it is going to shake some things at our church. i’ve also been thinking a lot about how we are going to be moving forward and what that might look like. and what my role in that might be. i get a little nervous when we talk of buildings right now. i mean, i understand it, but i guess from my perspective it shouldn’t be at the top of our priorities. again, just my opinion. a building can consume a lot of resources like time and money. but it can also provide things we don’t have right now. just to have a central location that is available when we need and want it would be awesome. i am more thinking in terms of developing small groups. creating communities within the community. and in some senses creating churches within the church. i don’t see us needing a building to make that happen. we talked about things we wish we had done early in our development to greater emphasize small groups and about some things we may be able to do in the future. it is just encouraging to be able to share my thoughts and know they are being heard and taken seriously.

i have been asking a lot of people about forgiveness in the past few days. while i have not heard back on a lot of my requests, i have also looked for some things on my own. i came across a sermon written by john piper in 1994 that i thought was very good. in it, he discussed seven elements of forgiveness and scriptures that go with them. if you want to read the full sermon, go there. but here are the 7 elements that he suggest round out the biblical definition of forgiveness.

1. Resist thoughts of revenge: Romans 12:19, “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.”

2. Don’t seek to do them mischief: 1 Thessalonians 5:15, “See that no one repays another with evil for evil.

3. Wish well to them: Luke 6:28 “Bless those who curse you.”

4. Grieve at their calamities: Proverbs 24:17, “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles.”

5. Pray for them: Matthew 5:44, “But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.”

6. Seek reconciliation with them: Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”

7. Be always willing to come to their relief: Exodus 23:4, “If you meet your enemy’s ox or his donkey wandering away, you shall surely return it to him.”

i want to share some thoughts on these elements as well, so here it goes. i am going to use my relationship with my dad as my example because it is my longest and most difficult forgiveness scenario to date.

1. resist thoughts of revenge – i can remember times when i was in high school that friends of mine would ask me what i would do if my dad came to town. most often, i probably said, “if he shows his face around here, i’d fight him.” i wanted to have my revenge on my father by inflicting physical pain on him. i thought maybe then he could understand what he had done by walking out of my life. i don’t have that desire anymore, i don’t want to hurt him physically or otherwise. i know that he will have his day of judgment, just as i will, and he will be judged on his entire life. at this point, his consequences are between he and God and i do not desire to be the one to carry out any judgment against him

2. do not seek to do them mischief – it is difficult for me to separate this one from number one. again, i used to want to inflict physical harm on my dad. to repay my pain with some pain of his own. i do not want that anymore. now i am more concerned with whether i am causing him pain by not seeking him out. by staying out of his life am i repaying his evil with evil of my own? more on this in later points.

3. wish well to them – i pray for my dad. i pray for his health and his second marriage. i do not wish harm on him. i know that my dad has encountered jesus in his life and i pray that he will experience that relationship again. but similar to the last point, by not wishing him well directly, am i short changing the forgiveness experience for the both of us?

4. grieve at their calamities – not long ago, i heard that my father was suffering from parkinson’s disease. i heard that the tremors that accompany this disease were to the point that he could not have conversations on the phone with out someone else holding it for him. it sucks to think of him like that. when i was very young my dad was a hero to me and was strong and bold. to think of him as being, too some extent, helpless is a hard pill to swallow. it hurts to know that he is not doing well and it is scary to think that the next news i get about him may be the last news i get about him. i hope he gets the medical attention he needs, or that God will chose to heal him of this.

5. pray for them – i do pray for my dad. see point 3 and point 4. although, at times it is difficult to know how to pray because i do not know him. i pray for his salvation.

6. seek reconciliation with them – this is a tough element for me to consider. by definition, to reconcile means “to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable.” the trouble i have with this is that while i may be won over to friendliness and amicable towards him, is it authentic if he never gets to experience it? do i have to win him over? check out what that scripture says again… Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” right now i am at peace with as far as it depends on me. do i place that peace with him at risk by coming into contact with him? i have no conflicts with him currently, i do not wish him harm. should i see him or talk to him, that may change. do i choose to remain at peace from a distance, or do i risk the balance of peace by seeking him out… ? this is where forgiveness really gets muddy for me… i just don’t know. so i rely on the promptings of the Holy Spirit to guide me. most days i do not believe contact is necessary, but there are those days… especially with the knowledge that he is sick. perhaps i will regret it if he dies and i have not sought him out.

7. be always willing to come to their relief – again a tricky element. my natural inclination is to say, “how can i come to his relief if he does not ask me to?” but i know that is ridiculous. i have at lease basic knowledge that he has been sick and i have done nothing…. or have i? if i pray for him, does that constitute coming to his relief? what more am i capable of? i have no cures for parkinson’s. but i do have knowledge of things that can relieve him in what i perceive his spiritual health condition to be. should i come to his relief by sharing with him what God has done for me, even if he chooses to not accept what i am sharing, does that constitute coming to his relief. again, i must rely on the Holy Spirit to guide me through these questions. at times, i do believe pray to be the best relief i can offer. there may be coming a time when i am called to more than that… i don’t know.

obviously, when i am honest with myself, i cannot say my forgiveness for my father is being lived out in the way it should be. i know i have forgiven him for his actions in that i do not hold them against him, but i do not know if i am fully allowing him to receive the forgiveness. perhaps there is also a strong element of needing to be forgiven for my role as well. i have wronged my father. i am not without blame. i must continue to seek the Lord and listen to Him as he guides me in how to go about making forgiveness a reality in my relationship with my dad. i do not know what roads i will be lead down. i may never speak to my father again, or i may seek him out and re-establish the relationship that was broken. there is no universal model or universal result for forgiveness. i just know i cannot with hold it. i must be willing to forgive my debtors, just as i have been forgiven of my debts.

p.s.
what a network of friends i have! not a day goes by where i do not have at least one, usually multiple people show me love and care in so many different ways. i am truly blessed. thank you friends.